I needed this today and I wanted to draw attention to it! I have a really bad habit of putting myself down and ultimately I find myself depressed and down so.......no more! I am claiming confidence and peace in my life.
From Extraordinary Women: Julie Clinton
"When you look in the mirror, what do you see? God’s daughter?
Self-hate, rejection, and an inability to accept oneself as special and unique prevents us from becoming what God has planned for our lives. Do you feel like a failure? Are you too hard on yourself?
We all need grace. None of us are perfect. But, we are made in the image of a great God. It’s time to treat yourself better. The Bible says to treat others as you treat yourself…but it starts by treating yourself well! Do something today to remind yourself that you really are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Here’s a test. The next time you tell yourself that you’re no good, a failure, unlovable—all lies from the devil—ask yourself this one question. “Would I judge a good friend in this way?” If the answer is “no”, you are not being fair to yourself.
Jesus described God’s loving concern for you, explaining that “the very hairs of your head are all numbered.” He added that because God cares even for small birds—“not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will”—imagine how much more He cares for you (Matthew 10:29-31).
He loves you! Yes—you.
Prayer:Dear Lord. Banish negative thinking from my life. Let me see myself through Your eyes: holy, forgiven, wonderfully made in your image. Enfold me with your love so that I am truly beautiful to myself and others. Amen."
Bible Readings for the Week Ahead
Monday: 1 John 3:22
Tuesday: 2 Corinthians 5:21
Wednesday: Philippians 1:21
Thursday: 2 Corinthians 5:17
Friday: Ephesians 3:20-21
Saturday: 2 Corinthians 9:8
Sunday: Psalm 68:19
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Can I please get a do over!
This week has been terrible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so tired of writing things here that seem to just be me whinning. Anyway.......remember last week I wrote about the taxes not being in yet? Well, it turns out that some company has garnished the whole tax return to pay a debt that we didn't even know we had. So now I am just mad! I am exhausted and mad!
I am ready to be a better person. Better finances, better physically, more educated and standing on my own two feet and it doesn't seem like I can get there from here no matter how hard I try. I want a home I can be proud of. I want all the bills paid with some left over for savings. I want my kids to have everything they need and some of what they want. I want a relationship with my husband that is passionate and is a partnership that is full of rich communication and mutual respect. I want to help teenagers with life and lead them to Christ through my example. I rebuke Satan in my life and the life of my family through the power of Jesus name. You have no power here and cannot claim the security of my family. Whew......I feel better now. I speak those good things into our family and claim them.
The Lord always has a way of helping me gain perspective with music and I wanted to put these lyrics up so that I could read them and other can hopefully find encouragement from them. The song that I heard is one that has been around for a while and to some degree over used but today God spoke to me through it.......
So here ya go.......
I was sure by now,
God, that You would have reached down and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls I barely hear You whisper through the rain, "I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away.
Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried You hold in your hand
You never left my side and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone
how can I carry on if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls I barely hear You whisper through the rain "I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away
Chorus
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
Chorus
I know, I know.....it seems that I am sulking. Well....you are probably right! I was told by a sister that it is ok for a little while. I reiterate......I just want to be better in so many ways.
I am ready to be a better person. Better finances, better physically, more educated and standing on my own two feet and it doesn't seem like I can get there from here no matter how hard I try. I want a home I can be proud of. I want all the bills paid with some left over for savings. I want my kids to have everything they need and some of what they want. I want a relationship with my husband that is passionate and is a partnership that is full of rich communication and mutual respect. I want to help teenagers with life and lead them to Christ through my example. I rebuke Satan in my life and the life of my family through the power of Jesus name. You have no power here and cannot claim the security of my family. Whew......I feel better now. I speak those good things into our family and claim them.
The Lord always has a way of helping me gain perspective with music and I wanted to put these lyrics up so that I could read them and other can hopefully find encouragement from them. The song that I heard is one that has been around for a while and to some degree over used but today God spoke to me through it.......
So here ya go.......
I was sure by now,
God, that You would have reached down and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls I barely hear You whisper through the rain, "I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away.
Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried You hold in your hand
You never left my side and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone
how can I carry on if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls I barely hear You whisper through the rain "I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away
Chorus
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
Chorus
I know, I know.....it seems that I am sulking. Well....you are probably right! I was told by a sister that it is ok for a little while. I reiterate......I just want to be better in so many ways.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
God is challenging me some right now!
Sometimes I just want to cry. I know I sound like I am whinny but the frustration of the adult world is sometimes more than I think I am built for. To fully express this frustration and get it out of my system so I can get on with my day I need to tell the main story behind this disappointment. I keep very good records for tax season because John and I set up an LLC a while back and it has been a good way for us to keep up with spending and it also has been financially healthy for us. So on that note.......we are expecting a tax return. And yes I say expecting because we are still waiting on it. Totally unaware to us, when the tax return went in everything was correct except my social security number on a 1099 from a company that I did part-time tutoring with. Now you might say no big deal but the IRS is not going to call you when you have a refund and tell you something is wrong. They are going to assume that you do not care and keep the money. To make a long story short.......it will take up to 12 weeks now, because it was late, to receive our refund. AHHHHHHHHHHH! And to top it all off.....my husband is unemployed and that financial booster shot would take a load off my mind.
I sort of feel like 'no good dead goes unpunished'. BUT I have this internal conflict going on at the same time. I want to be like Aspah in the Psalms 73..............realizing that "No doubt about it! God is good— good to good people, good to the good-hearted." I believe that I qualify for that good-hearted characteristic. Asaph was kinda fed up like me. He was disappointed that the wicked seem to be doing great and free from all frustration and he is left with a fundamental question to himself........why am I so good then? But you have to be careful to read the first few verses because he sets the whole thing off retrospectively. He says in verse 2-5......"I nearly missed it, missed seeing His goodness. I was looking the other way, looking up to the people..... At the top, envying the wicked who have it 'made'". I feel so bad! Yeah this is inconvenient and annoying but God has been good and He has provided for us what we needed through one form or another. He knows the desires of my heart and knows that I would like to have a home I can be proud of and experiences for my kids that enrich their lives. Why do I worry about it so much! He loves me and will provide within his will and plan. Why do I get so worked up.
"Lord.......thank you for your blessings and how well you know me! I am surprised that you still bestow on me blessings that I cannot see because I am so frustrated with the ones I don't possess yet. Forgive me please! It is shameful how side tracked I can get. Father.........you know my heart and that my intention for such blessings are not evil. I want to be a shining example of Your love and faithfulness that is all. I need your help in this area because I struggle with worry and envy. Bless me Oh Lord according to your riches and will. Love.....your servant."
I sort of feel like 'no good dead goes unpunished'. BUT I have this internal conflict going on at the same time. I want to be like Aspah in the Psalms 73..............realizing that "No doubt about it! God is good— good to good people, good to the good-hearted." I believe that I qualify for that good-hearted characteristic. Asaph was kinda fed up like me. He was disappointed that the wicked seem to be doing great and free from all frustration and he is left with a fundamental question to himself........why am I so good then? But you have to be careful to read the first few verses because he sets the whole thing off retrospectively. He says in verse 2-5......"I nearly missed it, missed seeing His goodness. I was looking the other way, looking up to the people..... At the top, envying the wicked who have it 'made'". I feel so bad! Yeah this is inconvenient and annoying but God has been good and He has provided for us what we needed through one form or another. He knows the desires of my heart and knows that I would like to have a home I can be proud of and experiences for my kids that enrich their lives. Why do I worry about it so much! He loves me and will provide within his will and plan. Why do I get so worked up.
"Lord.......thank you for your blessings and how well you know me! I am surprised that you still bestow on me blessings that I cannot see because I am so frustrated with the ones I don't possess yet. Forgive me please! It is shameful how side tracked I can get. Father.........you know my heart and that my intention for such blessings are not evil. I want to be a shining example of Your love and faithfulness that is all. I need your help in this area because I struggle with worry and envy. Bless me Oh Lord according to your riches and will. Love.....your servant."
Friday, June 5, 2009
Pride!!!!!!!!!!
I got a letter from Taylor's kindergarten teacher yesterday thanking us for the end of year gift that we had given her. To provide you with some background information......this teacher is a delight. She is always complimentary and very little. I mean little! She literally is just about 6" taller than her students. As a teacher myself, I often wondered if that was an advantage or a disadvantage. Anyway......I digress!
I know that alot of people find pride in their children simply because they represent the "best" of themselves. BUT I find myself in a unique position with my oldest. Taylor is "one of those" kids. He is great with adults, extremely compassionate and very, very bright. He is systematic and self structured. He taught himself how to read with very little help from us. When I would ask him how his day was at school, he would with great concern and empathy, give us the run down on all the misbehavior in the class and the outcomes for each. At first I thougth he was becoming a tattletail but I quickly realized that it really did distress him. That continued all year!
I say all that to say this.......in the note from his teacher she said this......"Taylor is one of those rare sponges that teachers come across that make teaching fun and a priviledge." I am amazed at my son! Then she said......."I was so thankful that God found it permissible to bless me with Taylor in my class this year." Now someone could say, " Oh you were one of thooooose parents. You know the parent who always hovered over the teacher and made her feel like she was under a microscope. " And to that I can honestly and emphatically say, I do not have the time to babysit a teacher or nit-pick. He has created this reputation on his own. I knew this was a reality when we attended Taylor's kindergarten graduation. He recieved all the academic awards possible and also received the "most Christ-like" award.
Now having said that, I would like everyone to know that I am not gloating (at least not shamefully). I just am in awe of the blessing God has given me called Taylor Alexander Pate. There is so much good in him and God put him together perfectly. As I say that I get a little frightened for him. With all that good comes the devil's determination to twist the beauty in Taylor and make the evil around him so potent. I have to say....."I rebuke the devil in Jesus' name over Taylor's future!" He is a child made perfectly by God with an amazing future and we speak productivity and a rich relationship with God into his life. I want to be the type of parent that can nurture and guide him the way he needs for me to.
"Taylor....you are a blessing and have made my life more rich than I can even express. Continue baby to follow the path of the righteous. It always leads to peace and God's blessings. I love you"- Mom
I know that alot of people find pride in their children simply because they represent the "best" of themselves. BUT I find myself in a unique position with my oldest. Taylor is "one of those" kids. He is great with adults, extremely compassionate and very, very bright. He is systematic and self structured. He taught himself how to read with very little help from us. When I would ask him how his day was at school, he would with great concern and empathy, give us the run down on all the misbehavior in the class and the outcomes for each. At first I thougth he was becoming a tattletail but I quickly realized that it really did distress him. That continued all year!
I say all that to say this.......in the note from his teacher she said this......"Taylor is one of those rare sponges that teachers come across that make teaching fun and a priviledge." I am amazed at my son! Then she said......."I was so thankful that God found it permissible to bless me with Taylor in my class this year." Now someone could say, " Oh you were one of thooooose parents. You know the parent who always hovered over the teacher and made her feel like she was under a microscope. " And to that I can honestly and emphatically say, I do not have the time to babysit a teacher or nit-pick. He has created this reputation on his own. I knew this was a reality when we attended Taylor's kindergarten graduation. He recieved all the academic awards possible and also received the "most Christ-like" award.
Now having said that, I would like everyone to know that I am not gloating (at least not shamefully). I just am in awe of the blessing God has given me called Taylor Alexander Pate. There is so much good in him and God put him together perfectly. As I say that I get a little frightened for him. With all that good comes the devil's determination to twist the beauty in Taylor and make the evil around him so potent. I have to say....."I rebuke the devil in Jesus' name over Taylor's future!" He is a child made perfectly by God with an amazing future and we speak productivity and a rich relationship with God into his life. I want to be the type of parent that can nurture and guide him the way he needs for me to.
"Taylor....you are a blessing and have made my life more rich than I can even express. Continue baby to follow the path of the righteous. It always leads to peace and God's blessings. I love you"- Mom
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
RUNNING LIKE CRAZY!
I haven't had time to write today but God is good, He is in charge and I know it and plan to go home and love on my kids tonight!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
God....why me for this job?
I have often wondered why me and more specifically why me in education and with teenagers? When I was in high school and then in college (up until my sophomore year), I always felt like the ugly duckling that could not craft a snappy come back if her life depended on it. I was frizzy headed and very introverted. It was not until my sophomore year at Trevecca that I realized I wasn't that bad and that with a little effort and laughter at myself, I could become more of a people person. So in that light... not being 'together' for very long..... what makes God so determined to put me in education (which I am good at but find draining and dull at times) and with teenagers who are all about 'cool'. I am really struggling with this in myself.
Throughout my years at Trevecca (on the PR team) and with teens most of the time (see God was at it then and I was oblivious) I always felt like the filler member. Let me explain! I wasn't talented like Andrea. I wasn't beautiful and athletic like Jenni. And I wasn't talkative and outgoing like Jana. So why? The same question I find today............I still found myself at church camps with teens for three long summers in PR. Then.....I found myself after college at a street school for high school teenagers who were drop outs. Then on to 2 years in full time youth ministry and now back at the street school for 4 year. AND TO BOOT.......NOW I AM PLANNING TO GET A MASTERS IN EDUCATION IN THE AREA OF AT RISK YOUTH! WWWHHAATTTTTTTTTTTTTT?
OK, take a deep breath and expound. Not to be dramatic but .....When I graduated from Trevecca I thougth medicine was the avenue to make an impact for Christ. I received my PA degree and was medicine bound but God is good to us in that He will accomplish His work through us dispite our misunderstanding of the goal. I am reminded of Moses (exodus 4:10) and how his immediate response to God's calling was, "Master, please, I don't talk well. I've never been good with words, neither before nor after you spoke to me. I stutter and stammer." I think I feel convicted now ;( IT SOUNDS JUST LIKE MY FIRST PARAGRAPH!!!!! Then it gets so intimate when God says to Moses......."I'll be right there with you as you speak!" How can it get any more reassuring than that.
"Father.......Help me accept how you have made me and rest in the confidence that you will 'be right there with me as I speak'. Help me cultivate that holy confidence and take that into my personal and professional life. "
Throughout my years at Trevecca (on the PR team) and with teens most of the time (see God was at it then and I was oblivious) I always felt like the filler member. Let me explain! I wasn't talented like Andrea. I wasn't beautiful and athletic like Jenni. And I wasn't talkative and outgoing like Jana. So why? The same question I find today............I still found myself at church camps with teens for three long summers in PR. Then.....I found myself after college at a street school for high school teenagers who were drop outs. Then on to 2 years in full time youth ministry and now back at the street school for 4 year. AND TO BOOT.......NOW I AM PLANNING TO GET A MASTERS IN EDUCATION IN THE AREA OF AT RISK YOUTH! WWWHHAATTTTTTTTTTTTTT?
OK, take a deep breath and expound. Not to be dramatic but .....When I graduated from Trevecca I thougth medicine was the avenue to make an impact for Christ. I received my PA degree and was medicine bound but God is good to us in that He will accomplish His work through us dispite our misunderstanding of the goal. I am reminded of Moses (exodus 4:10) and how his immediate response to God's calling was, "Master, please, I don't talk well. I've never been good with words, neither before nor after you spoke to me. I stutter and stammer." I think I feel convicted now ;( IT SOUNDS JUST LIKE MY FIRST PARAGRAPH!!!!! Then it gets so intimate when God says to Moses......."I'll be right there with you as you speak!" How can it get any more reassuring than that.
"Father.......Help me accept how you have made me and rest in the confidence that you will 'be right there with me as I speak'. Help me cultivate that holy confidence and take that into my personal and professional life. "
Monday, May 18, 2009
I love my kids!
Recently my church has been doing a series on parenting and what that really means. The premise is that our children have three major relationship arenas that influence how they view God. I must admit I am so convicted about this topic!!!!!! It's not that I don't exhibit God infront of them or talk about God with them but I am not nearly as intentional as I should be in this regard. Taylor, my oldest, is 6 and is very sensitive to matters of the spiritual nature. (I think he has a pastorial calling on his life but I will let him figure that out.) I want to publically make a commitment to read with them out of the Bible at least 3 night a week. Now, I have always prayed with them before bed and now that there are 3 of them I think some corporate prayer is in order.
"Lord Jesus........I want my children to know You and be known by You! That is my prayer and now... this day.... I pray....God....continually stimulate my mind with ways to teach my angels about You and what it means to live this Holiness life in front of them. I am thankful for the child blessings you have given me in form of Taylor, Izzy and Ethan and pledge to you to bring them up to know You and be known by You."
"Lord Jesus........I want my children to know You and be known by You! That is my prayer and now... this day.... I pray....God....continually stimulate my mind with ways to teach my angels about You and what it means to live this Holiness life in front of them. I am thankful for the child blessings you have given me in form of Taylor, Izzy and Ethan and pledge to you to bring them up to know You and be known by You."
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